The Colorado Kid   ::   Кинг Стивен

She thought she could live here the rest of her life and never talk like them, but understand them? Ayuh, that much she could do, deah.

“Fair was the word,” she agreed.

“One that hasn’t ever been in Jack Moody’s vocabulary, except in how it applies to the weather,” Vince said, and then, with no change of tone, “Put that roll down, David Bowie, ain’t you gettin fat, I swan, sooee, pigpigpig.”

“Last time I looked, we wa’ant married,” Dave said, and took another bite of his roll. “Can’t you tell her what’s on what passes for your mind without scoldin me?”

“Ain’t he pert?” Vince said. “No one ever taught him not to talk with his mouth full, either.” He hooked an arm over the back of his chair, and the breeze from the bright ocean blew his fine white hair back from his brow. “Steffi, Helen’s got three kids from twelve to six and a husband that run off and left her. She don’t want to leave the island, and she can make a go of it—just—waitressin at The Grey Gull because summers are a little fatter than the winters are lean. Do you follow that?”

“Yes, absolutely,” Stephanie said, and just then the lady in question approached. Stephanie noticed that she was wearing heavy support hose that did not entirely conceal varicose veins, and that there were dark circles under her eyes.

“Vince, Dave,” she said, and contented herself with just a nod at the pretty third, whose name she did not know. “See your friend dashed off. For the ferry?”

“Yep,” Dave said. “Discovered he had to get back downBoston.”

“Ayuh? All done here?”

“Oh, leave on a bit,” Vince said, “but bring us a check when you like, Helen. Kids okay?”

Helen Hafner grimaced. “Jude fell out of his treehouse and broke his arm last week. Didn’t he holler! Scared me bout to death!”

The two old men looked at each other…then laughed. They sobered quickly, looking ashamed, and Vince offered his sympathies, but it wouldn’t do for Helen.

“Men can laugh,” she told Stephanie with a tired, sardonic smile. “Theyall fell out of treehouses and broke their arms when they were boys, and they all remember what little pirates they were. What they don’t remember is Ma gettin up in the middle of the night to give em their aspirin tablets. I’ll bring you the check.” She shuffled off in a pair of sneakers with rundown backs.

“She’s a good soul,” Dave said, having the grace to look slightly shamefaced.

“Yes, she is,” Vince said, “and if we got the rough side of her tongue we probably deserved it. Meanwhile, here’s the deal on this lunch, Steffi. I dunno what three lobster rolls, one lobster dinner with steamers, and four iced teas cost down there in Boston, but that feature writer must have forgot that up here we’re livin at what an economist might call ‘the source of supply’ and so he dropped a hundred bucks on the table. If Helen brings us a check that says any more than fiftyfive, I’ll smile and kiss a pig. With me so far?”

“Yes, sure,” Stephanie said.

“Now the way this works for that fella from theGlobe is that he scratchesLunch, Gray Gull, MooseLookit Island andUnexplained Mysteries Series in his little BostonGlobe expense book while he’s ridin back to the mainland on the ferry, and if he’s honest he writes one hundred bucks and if he’s got a smidge of larceny in his soul, he writes a hundred and twenty and takes his girl to the movies on the extra. Got that?”

“Yes,” Stephanie said, and looked at him with reproachful eyes as she drank the rest of her iced tea. “I think you’re very cynical.”

“No, if I was very cynical, I would have said a hundred andthirty, and for sure.” This made Dave snort laughter. “In any case, he left a hundred, and that’s at least thirtyfive dollars too much, even with a twenty percent tip added in. So I took his money. When Helen brings the check, I’ll sign it, because theIslander runs a tab here.”

“And you’ll tip more than twenty percent, I hope,” Stephanie said, “given her situation at home.”

“That’s just where you’re wrong,” Vince said.

“I am?Why am I?”

He looked at her patiently. “Why do you think? Because I’m cheap? Yankeetight?”

“No. I don’t believe that any more than I think black men are lazy or Frenchmen think about sex all day long.”

“Then put your brain to work. God gave you a good one.”

Stephanie tried, and the two men watched her do it, interested.

“She’d see it as charity,” Stephanie finally said.

Vince and Dave exchanged an amused glance.

“What?” Stephanie asked.

“Gettin a little close to lazy black men and sexy Frenchmen, ain’tcha, dear?” Dave asked, deliberately broadening his downeast accent into what was nearly a burlesque drawl. “Only now it’s the proud Yankee woman that won’t take charity.”

Feeling that she was straying ever deeper into the sociological thickets, Stephanie said, “You mean she would take it. For her kids, if not for herself.”

“The man who bought our lunch was from away,” Vince said. “As far as Helen Hafner’s concerned, folks from away just about got money fallin out of their…their wallets.”

Amused at his sudden detour into delicacy on her account, Stephanie looked around, first at the patio area where they were sitting, then through the glass at the indoor seating area. And she saw an interesting thing. Many—perhaps even most—of the patrons out here in the breeze were locals, and so were most of the waitresses serving them. Inside were the summer people, the socalled “offislanders,” and the waitresses servingthem were younger. Prettier, too, and also from away. Summer help. And all at once she understood. She had been wrong to put on her sociologist’s hat. It was far simpler than that.

“The Grey Gull waitresses share tips, don’t they?” she asked. “That’s what it is.”

Vince pointed a finger at her like a gun and said, “Bingo.”

“So what do you do?”

“What I do,” he said, “is tip fifteen percent when I sign the check and put forty dollars of thatGlobe fella’s cash in Helen’s pocket. She gets all of that, the paper doesn’t get hurt, and what Uncle Sam don’t know don’t bother him.”

“It’s the way America does business,” Dave said solemnly.

“And do you know what I like?” Vince Teague said, turning his face up into the sun. When he squinted his eyes closed against its brilliance, what seemed like a thousand wrinkles sprang into existence on his skin. They did not make him look his age, but theydid make him look eighty.

“No, what?” Stephanie asked, amused.